As a child, I would often go for walks with my mother. Our family only had one vehicle, which my dad drove to work, so we walked a lot. We walked across town to the bank and to the various entities to pay bills. We walked to the library. We walked to the park. We walked to school. We walked just about everywhere within a few miles radius. If we passed by somebody, we always greeted them. We'd say, "hello," or "good morning," or "good afternoon." My mother taught me it was a good and kind thing to greet people. We didn't have to stand there and talk to them. We certainly didn't go with them. But we still greeted them. She taught me that sometimes people just need a kindly spoken word to make their day, and that we can be the one to deliver it.
Fast forward several years. I am now an adult. The culture has changed some, and "stranger danger" looms large. This actually started when I was a child, and I felt my mother was a bit overprotective of me at the time. These "stranger danger"-taught children have grown up and had their own children. What do they teach their children? Don't talk to strangers! They teach their children to fear others not their own age.
I've had a few unpleasant encounters with children of this generation who are genuinely afraid of me for no other reason than they are taught to be afraid of me. For instance, I took my children to the park to play one day. There was a little girl on the swing. I was pushing my own small child on the swing. The girl's grandmother was in another part of the park, within eyeshot and shouting distance. The girl yelled for the grandmother to push her, the grandmother either didn't hear or ignored her. When I offered to push her (because I was right there pushing my own daughter), the girl got a very frightened look in her eye and started screaming. Children do not know how to interact with strangers anymore. They are taught to fear instead of appropriate and inappropriate interaction.
Ok. Back to greeting people on the street. As an adult, I have this ingrained habit. I always greet people I pass on the street. I have noticed over the past several years an interesting phenomenon. Adults almost always greet me in return. The rare few that don't usually have earbuds in, so I assume they can't hear me. Children, on the other hand, almost never greet me. In fact not only do they not return a greeting, they won't even make eye contact. They make it a point to ignore me, usually looking at the ground. It doesn't matter whether these children are walking alone, with a group, or with their parents. They will not return a simple greeting. The only ones who do are the ones who know me well. Some of my children's friends who I know as acquaintances also do not return my greeting. All the way up to the high school students who walk past my house twice daily.
I don't know what you think about this, but it seems to me to be an odd thing. It always throws me off guard, though maybe it shouldn't as often as it happens. It also, for an instant, makes me feel bad. After all, I put a piece of myself out to others and find I am rejected.
What can a simple greeting accomplish? It can brighten a moment for both participants of the greeting. It is a human interaction, and as such fosters a feeling of acceptance. A greeting can build the sense of community. As community members greet each other, pleasantries are exchanged, and you feel you know a bit about a person (he is capable of kindness). A simple greeting can pave the way for friendships to develop (normally superficial as is appropriate at first). More than just a word is exchanged in a greeting. There is body language there as well. You can tell if a person had a bad day or is expecting a good one. Your simple greeting may help somebody struggling with depression to make it through another day. Your greeting has power and is far from dangerous.
Please parents, teach your children appropriate interactions with strangers! Teach them that it is ok to talk to strangers, just not to go with people their parents don't know.
